Gaudy Geeky
1/5
Relax Lab had a promising start, even utilizing services that clients may not see in other spas, with the hope of helping the world see massage as a medical tool to help the ailments that a mere pain killer could only help for a couple of hours at most. It was a good step forward to alleviate the stigma that has surrounded massage for years and proving that it has benefits aside from bragging about the greatness of a cruise vacation.
However, I'd sooner save all of my money for any potential cruise, and I'd choose to take it on a clumsily crafted plank over spending another cent on this business.
I used to be eager to use their float tanks until the recent year, in which the water would be cold in the winter, making it impossible to enjoy two hours of rejuvenation without wishing to check the clock. Coupling that with the towels that you could barely dry off with without the feeling of a fuzzy animal growing against your skin, I'd sooner dump a barrel of MSG in my bath tub and hope for the best.
If that wasn't bad enough, both services and memberships have suffered from hiked prices, making it next to impossible to find a worthwhile place to replenish inner strength when it's far more important to pay for groceries and utilities. I couldn't keep up and had to quit my membership - the difference was staggering and draining. Upon seeing the change in clientele, I more than perfectly understand that my "kind" is no longer the target audience. Everything from price change to aesthetic appearance in the business tells me everything I need to know. Relax Lab no longer vouches for the medically alternative souls who want to save their money from tossing it at overpriced prescriptions. At this rate, if they do a tacky collaboration with the Royal Carribean to cater to the fat cats, I won't even be surprised.
Definitely don't bother to support this establishment if you're neurodivergent or autoimmune. Sensitivity to scents, textures of towels and oils, and other such issues are not fairly accommodated. The business has a turning track record of treating anyone who is not neurotypical or financially stacked as a personal liability sent to destroy their clean girl TikTok fantasy. Since the turnover, my favorite therapist was let go and treated like nothing but a problem for the past five months for no other purpose than to market for an audience that they never had until the greed for a perfectly aestheticized life set in full swing.
Don't bother to fall for this, and take your money elsewhere. I'd take a shoulder wack from my grandfather's rusty hammer before taking a shot from the Goop theragun.
